Today, in a moment of utter desperation, I came and lied down in my yurt where I receive others and where I've been holding circles now for the past three years.
I, you know, I'm really feeling all of the atrocities and the heartbreak and the utter desperation and I asked, what is it that I need to know? What is it that I can possibly bring to this situation? How can I serve?
And I keep hearing back, just allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and to feel all of it and how much the unconscious, all of the ugliness, all of the darkness, all of the unresolved pain that we weren't seeing before, now we're seeing and the greed and the utter capacity of what humans are able to do to one another, we're really seeing it and it's breaking us open but we have a choice now.
We can ignore it, we can run from it, we can deny it, we can project it back out and blame, or what I keep on feeling myself is how can we acknowledge within ourselves what this situation is showing us within each of us as well, how much we live broken inside of ourselves by the stories that we tell ourselves of not being enough or of how much we compare to others and we don't measure up, how much we judge ourselves and others.
So how this situation that's unfolding that doesn't seem to be going, escalating but escalating is how much are you willing to feel and are you willing to create spaces for you and for your family and for your friends to honor what's coming up and to transform it with your awareness of it and to make a choice to not send it back outwards in another story or in a projection because how else are we going to shift the collective if we're not willing to do the work within ourselves and repair our own broken brokenness and I say that I'm talking to myself as well I see how easily I'm getting more affected by smaller things now and having more of an impact on me and I see the old pattern where I just want to freak out and how I'm learning to come into silence to process what I'm feeling to make firmer boundaries to feel more to understand I'm not my emotions I'm not my thoughts but that I'm so much more than that and that I have this capacity to hold all of it.
Embracing Vulnerability and Transformation in Challenging Times